There are two types of changes in life.
Those that happen to you.
And those you make happen.
The ones that happen to you require you to be patient, resilient or flexible. Changes like a job loss, illness, accident or a death of a loved one. You generally only have two choices when it comes to these types of changes - surrender and go with the flow or resist.
We all know what happens when we resist change, the change usually wins and we are left with our battle wounds.But what about changes that you want to bring about? Your choices here can leave you feeling paralyzed with an inability to even know where to start.
How do you start a new career? Leave a relationship? Start a business? Get fit and healthy?
1. Embrace the starting point
The first step is to take a deep breath and know that you are exactly where you need to be. This is your journey and with every journey there must be a starting point.
2. Get Curious
Get reacquainted with yourself. What brings you joy? When in your life have you felt the most alive? What’s important to you and what does living a full life look like?
Give yourself time for this rediscovery.
Chances are that if you have been busy raising a family it’s been awhile since you’ve thought about these things. Grab a journal and get your thoughts on paper.
Let yourself imagine what’s possible with each change you desire. What will the change bring you? How will it change other aspects of your life? You do not live in a vacuum. Changes in one area of your life will affect other areas of your life.
3. Acknowledge the fear
A natural response to any change is resistance. Change makes us feel uncomfortable and if things stay the same we feel safe. Other people in your life also feel safe if you stay exactly as you are. You change and they want to change you back! This quirky human behavior may be annoying but it’s normal.
The key is to anticipate that feeling of doubt, fear, or resistance in yourself and in others.
Again, get curious. When we get curious about our reactions we stop living on autopilot and that’s when you step into your true life and start living your life the way it’s meant to be for you.
4. Use supports
Supports are your key to resist the resist!
You are less likely to give in to self doubt or fear if you have good supports in place. Set up accountability with a friend, meet with a therapist or join a coaching group. Use your calendar or apps to keep your focus and set schedules to work on your change.
5.Lastly, give yourself time
The changes that we bring about rarely happen overnight. Remember that the only thing constant about life is that it’s always changing!